The Road Back
by Larry Gifford
“Come on,” said Red. “We need to get that tremor looked at Bear.”
“What tremor?” Bear feigned.
“If your pinky keeps tapping away like that, I’m going to get a bruise on my leg.”
They both laughed, but Bear knew he couldn’t blame adrenaline this time.
He sat up and looked at Red, “Okay, but only to show you it’s nothing.”
They met up with Doc Squires at an abandoned Starbucks near his apartment. He would use this as his office from time to time.
As Doc Squires began to run Bear through a battery of neurologic exams. “Bear I need you to make the ‘okay’ sign with your fingers and then as wide and as fast as possible bring your index finger to your thumb.” This is not something Bear typically does and today, he couldn’t do it even one time. Red and Doc Squires exchanged glances. “That’s okay Bear, let’s try something else. Keep your heel firmly planted in the ground and tap your toes.” Bear’s eyes teared up as he tried to tap his toes. He couldn’t do it. “That’s alright, Bear.” Doc Squires had a light and assuring tone. “One more test. Just walk up and down the hall for me.” Doc Squires and Red watched as Bear dragged and scuffed his feet thoughtlessly as he trudged down the hall and back.
Eager to get going Bear sighed with fear and trepidation, “So Doc, what’s the verdict?”
The Doc was silent other than noises he makes while thinking, “hmm” and “ahh.”
Red sat next to Bear in the old green Starbucks chairs. She reached over to hold his hand. Doc Squires blurted out, “I’m sorry Bear, but it looks like you have Parkinson’s Disease.” Bear looked blankly back at the Doc. “Am I going to die?” He asked.
“Not anytime soon so far as I can tell.” Said the Doc.
“Wait.” Said Bear, “What do you mean by ‘probably’ – isn’t there a test or something?”
Doc Squires thought about it for a second. “There is really only one test we can offer which would conclusively tell you if you have Parkinson’s disease.”
“Let’s do it.” Bear started to roll up his sleeve.
“Bear,” Doc Squires interrupted, “It’s an autopsy.”
The room got deathly quiet. “Shit Doc. Seriously?”
“Unfortunately, it’s true. You’re going to have take me at my word. This disease is progressive and degenerative. Symptoms are all over the map and can change hour to hour. It’s relentless and indiscriminate.”
“Sounds delightful Doc, thanks.”
“How’d he get it?” Red inquired.
“Nobody knows for sure.” The Doc said.
“What’s the cure?” Bear inquired.
“There is no cure, Bear.” Doc Squires tone was softened and hushed. He continued, “I’m going to write you a prescription for replacement dopamine. I’ll call it in tonight, you can pick it up tomorrow.”
Bear takes a deep breath. He and Red and holding hands walking down the street, unable to think straight. Bear stops and screams into the void of the night, “FUUUUUUUUUUCK!” In his mind he’d been thinking back at the signs and signals that something wasn’t quite right. But he didn’t like doctors or even taking regular pills, so he thought it was something he could ignore.
Red could see Bear spinning a bit out control and offered to stay on his couch tonight. Bear insisted she take the bed and he’d take the couch. Bear agreed it would be great if she could be with him. He didn’t anticipate getting much sleep after that news anyway.